“All that we call spirit and art and
ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we
forget.” —G. K. Chesterton
On Monday, the seventeenth of June, at
four-thirty, I arrived at MidAmerica Nazarene University for the OYAN
Summer Workshop.
And never have I had a week
simultaneously so long and so short. It seems that so much had
happened in so little time. There were so many people, so many
people I knew already, so many people that I learned to know. It
passed with the speed of Almost-Flash, and yet small instants here
and there remain riveted in my memory like a vivid picture.
This is me, trying to articulate these
chaotic memories and process them. I've done this before, and I'll
probably do it again: I'm going to think on paper and let you in on
what's going on in my mind. It's going to be confusing (especially
all of the inside jokes), and it's going to be unorganized. But I
sincerely hope that it interests those who didn't go to the Workshop
and helps those who did.
If I could describe the Workshop in one
word, it would be this: vision.
OYAN gave me a vision. Not just for my
novel, but for OYAN itself, and especially for that brief glimpse
that Mr. S gave us the last night, of hobbit holes, a Rivendell for
writers, an impossible thing that he wanted to make possible. That's
what vision is, like hope.
At the Workshop, I remembered that I
had forgotten. I caught a glimpse, a vision, of what could be. That
maybe we writers could actually make a difference telling stories. I
knew this in my head, but at OYAN I saw
it. I saw that vision, I saw the passion in others for storytelling,
for Christ, for trying to change the world. We were an army of
ordinary heroes.
I've
never seen anything like it. Not even remotely. For the first time,
I was among writers I actually knew, that actually did the things I
did, liked the things I liked. The first time I went to a Workshop I
only knew one person. This time I knew dozens before
I went, and even more afterward.
One of
my memories comes to mind from Monday, the very first day: I'm
leaning far back in my seat and talking to all of the other people
I'm sitting with in the lounge. Queen Jane is dozing and telling
people she's “not asleep” every other word with her hilariously
British accent, Eagles laughs even though half our jokes aren't
funny, Sandy is sitting on the table because there aren't any chairs
nearby, Gunstrav is grinning, my sisters laugh. I don't even
remember what we were talking about, but it was after eleven o'clock
and everything was
funny.
And there was so
much good about the Workshop. My critique group was wonderful and
lively and so funny, and actually liked my novel. I got into a
theological discussion with some friends (someone evidently playing
telephone changed the word to “debate”) for several meals and had
a great time of it—we talked on controversial topics from
predestination to Mormonism to evolution and never got angry or
heated at one another despite a wide range of opinions. Jill
Williamson was fantastic (and knew my name!) and I had a wonderful
mentoring session with her. Jeff Gerke was one of us—he even
dressed in two different costumes! The fluffnark still lives and
Jeff's new shirt is proof of it. Mrs. S was herself and that's all we
could ever ask for.
It's hard to
articulate to people how exactly the Workshop felt. Sure, people can
understand having lots of fun and being geeky with other people, like
what I just described above. That part is easy. But what a lot of
people don't understand is the level of emotion and the depth of
friendship that develops between people you spend all day with for
four days in a row.
I've talked with a
couple non-OYANers about the Workshop in the last few days. They
asked how it went. I said it was incredible good and sad at the same
time. Sad? How was it sad? That was what they asked. Really.
I'm
not sure exactly how it could not
be sad. I was sad since the second day. You see, the worst part
about OYAN was that it had to end. As Mark Wilson said during one of
his lectures, you can't stay in Rivendell forever. The Workshop was
a wonderful place of teaching and people and laughing and singing,
but it couldn't go on forever. In fact, it could only go on for four
days: “a far too short a time to live among such excellent and
admirable OYANers.”
The Workshop was
our Rivendell. It was our place of rest and restoration on our long
and hard journeys. It was a place of community, of love and grace
and a lot of laughing. And we knew that once we left we had to go to
Mordor.
But the Workshop
wasn't just that. The Workshop wasn't the end: it was the end of the
beginning. Rivendell was a place for rest, but it was also the
launching pad for so many great things. And that's what the Workshop
did: it launched us back into our lives to march on, through all of
the dangers of life, to persevere and maybe even change the world.
It gave us rest, spiritually: physically we stayed up way too late
and got up way too early. But after you rest you have to work.
We had
remembered that we had forgotten, but we couldn't forget again. We
had seen a vision, I had
seen a vision, and we couldn't just file that away.
So that was the
Workshop, a terribly and terrifyingly wonderful gathering of men and
Time Lords and elves and Ithilien Rangers and writers...ordinary
heroes.
I want to pause for
a moment to talk about something I mentioned earlier. It's about Mr.
S's last lecture, the one where he talked about vision.
Mr. S had a vision.
OYAN was a Rivendell for writers, but only for a few days out of the
year. But what if it actually existed? What if we could create a
real haven for writers, where we could come anytime for rest and
healing and restoration? What if we could make...hobbit holes?
The extent of what
Mr. S talked about is too large and scoping and wonderful for me to
cover here, but I'll try to summarize.
He
wanted to really and truly build a place here on Earth for writers, a
permanent residence where smaller groups of people could come for
workshops, or to simply stay and write. They would be hobbit holes,
amplified ordinariness. They wouldn't just look like
them, they would literally be hobbit
holes, with real wood and round windows and doors and holes in the
ground.
He wanted to really
and truly build a library, and in his mind's eye it has a spiral
staircase and a real growing and living tree, and a place entirely
devoted to every book the OYANers have ever published.
He wanted to really
and truly build a creative arts center, a place for graphic design
and filmmaking and so many other things.
Mr. S showed us his
vision. And there wasn't a person (that I know of) that wasn't
deeply moved by it. (If you're an OYANer and you were there and you
weren't deeply moved, then you're a Dalek.)
Now we're carrying
that vision on with us, not only to change the world through our
writing, but to help others to do so by creating a real, physical
place where writers can go, a real Rivendell.
And really, it
looks impossible. But Mr. S was undaunted. OYAN remains undaunted.
Because God has done the impossible before. And you know what? You
can't change the world unless you try. We can't say building hobbit
holes is impossible until after we've done all we can.
And after the
lecture, we met outside and we prayed with Mr. S, and we sang (I sang
hardest when we sang “It Is Well With My Soul”), and we laughed,
and we said goodbye, and it was hard. And people cried.
I cried.
I did. I really
did.
Leaving people is
hard. Especially when they're writers like you, and you've spent the
last four days laughing and eating and talking and learning with
them. Especially when you're going back to Africa and you don't know
if you'll ever see any of these people again.
It was hard.
But it was worth
it.
David Platt once
said that all mission is separation. You can't be sent out unless
you're leaving. It involves sacrifice. And each and every OYANer
has been sent out, and we've been separated, but we're spreading our
vision.
We have a vision to
change the world for God, and we won't let it die out. It'll hurt,
but it'll be worth it. We have a community utterly unique. We're OYANers.
Ordinary heroes.
The Rivendell idea sounds... otherworldly. But that would be so awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd they should do it down in here in NZ... just for that scene of authenticity :D
(Not to mention that that would mean I could go too :D) (and yes, the double 'that' was intentional)
That sounds amazing! Once I begin OYAN (I'm considering it), next year or the year after, I may be able to go. Hey! I might even get to meet you! haha that'd be so cool.
ReplyDeleteDespite your warning that this post would be unorganized and rambly, I thought it was great. :) And I completely understand what you are talking about. I've never been able to go to the Workshop, but it sounds like it was incredible! And I have experienced those simultaneous happy and sad moments. It's hard to know you have to leave. But I'm glad to see your perspective on the whole thing. And you've reminded me that I have a mission too. Thank you! As for the Hobbit-hole writers' retreat, I just about stopped breathing while I was reading that. Mr. S really wants to do something like that? That would be so awesome!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jake! :)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds amazing and I'm so jealous that I wasn't able to go. Maybe next year. The Hobbit-hole writers' place sounds amazing and it needs to become a reality instead of just a vision.
ReplyDeleteYou're lovely :)
ReplyDelete