Sunday, September 22, 2013

Favorite Quotes from Cyrano de Bergerac

As promised, here's a post containing some of my favorite quotes from Cyrano de Bergerac. Many of them are too long to post, however, and I took out the ones that have spoilers. (As a disclaimer, I used a translation by Gladys Thomas and Mary. F. Guillemard. I hear that the Hooker translation is the best, but this was the one free on Kindle.)

Oh! [My nose] disgusts you!


Its hue
Unwholesome seems to you?


Or its shape?

No, on the contrary!...

Why then that air
Disparaging?—perchance you think it large?

THE BORE (stammering)
No, small, quite small—minute!

Minute! What now?
Accuse me of a thing ridiculous!
Small—my nose!...
'Tis enormous!
Old Flathead, empty-headed meddler, know
That I am proud possessing such appendice.
'Tis well known, a big nose is indicative
Of a soul affable, and kind, and courteous,
Liberal, brave, just like myself, and such
As you can never dare to dream yourself
Rascal contemptible!

Sir, your nose is...very big!

CYRANO (gravely):

THE VISCOUNT (laughing):

CYRANO (imperturbably):
Is that all?...

What do you mean?

Ah no! Young blade! That was a trifle short!
You might have said at least a hundred things
By varying the this, suppose...
Aggressive: Sir, if I had such a nose
I'd amputate it! Friendly: When you sup
It must annoy you, dipping in your cup;
You'd need a drinking-bowl of special shape!
Descriptive: 'Tis a rock!...a peak!...a cape!
—A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!
Curious: How serves that oblong capsular?
For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?
Gracious: You love the little birds, I think?
I see you've managed with a fond research
To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!
Truculent: When you smoke your pipe, suppose
That the tobbaco-smoke spouts from your nose—
Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher,
Cry terror struck: “The chimney is afire”?
Considerate: Take care...your head bowed low
By such a weight...lest head o'er heels you go!
Tender: Pray get a small umbrella made,
Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!
Pedantic: That beast Aristophanes
Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Must have possessed such a solid lump
Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!
Cavalier: The latest fashion, friend, that hook?
To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!
Emphatic: No wind, O majestic nose,
Can give THEE cold!—save when the mistral blows!
Dramatic: When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!
Admiring: Sign for a perfumery!
Lyric: Is this a conch!...a Triton you?
Simple: When is the monument on view?
Rustic: That thing a nose! Marry-come-up!
'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!
Military: Point against cavalry!
Practical: Put it in a lottery!
Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!
Or...parodying Pyramus' sighs...
Behold the nose that mars the harmony
Of it's master's phiz! blushing its treachery!
—Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said,
Had you of wit or letters the least jot:
But, O most lamentable man!—of wit
You never had an atom.

Hear his arrogance!
A country lout who...who...has got no gloves!
Who goes out without sleeve-knots, ribbons, lace!

True; all my elegances are within
I show no bravery of shining gems.
Truth, Independence, are my fluttering plumes.
'Tis not my form I lace to make me slim,
But brace my soul with efforts as with stays
Covered with exploits, not with ribbon-knots,
My spirit bristling high like your mustaches,
I, traversing the crowds and chattering groups
Make Truth ring bravely out like clash of spurs!

I in a labyrinth
Was lost—too many different paths to choose;
I took...


Oh! by far the simplest path...
Decided to be admirable in all!

A hundred men? You'll sleep in your own bed!

A hundred!....

Less, to-night—would be too few!

If I lay but my soul by my letter-sheet, 'tis naught to do but to copy from it.

CYRANO (shouting to the Gascons):
Gascons! Ho, Gascons! Never turn your backs!
(to Carbon, whom he is supporting):
Have no fear! I have two deaths to avenge:
My friend who's slain;—and my dead happiness!
Float there! laced kerchief broidered with her name!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

In Which I Do the Jake Equivalent of Fangirling, Over a Nineteenth Century Play

Yes, there are times where I (for lack of a better word) “fangirl”, although the objects of said fangirling tend to be old and the authors tend to be dead. (For some reason the word “fanboy” which certain friends of mine have tried to convince me to use, sounds simply odd and faintly creepy.)

The edition of the movie that I own.
In this case, I recently re-experienced the play “Cyrano de Bergerac” by Edmond Rostand. I've read it several times before, but I reread it last week. Then, yesterday, I acquired (huzzah!) and watched the 1950 movie, which was almost as stunning.

You may be familiar with the play. If not, go read it now.

Because after rereading it, it placed Number Four on my list of greatest stories in the history of ever.

Let me explain. (The following and rather lengthy dissertation does contain some spoilers for the play. I'll try not to spoil major plot points, but for those who have not read the play, read on at your own risk.)

The reason why the play is so incredible is mostly because of the development of the main character, Cyrano de Bergerac, who has the curse of a proverbially large nose.

While the play starts out very slowly—the entire first scene is basically random actors running about in a theater and has little to nothing to do with the rest of the play except to introduce the setting and some of the characters—it gets interesting once the main character happens upon the theater.

The first time we're introduced to him, we get the feel for his character right away: first, that he's extremely brash and somewhat arrogant, and second, that he's extremely witty.

As the play goes on, however, we see more and more that this arrogance is an expression, not of conceit, but of his fierce independence. And if that independence makes others angry, then so much the better. As he says in the play,

“I pass, still unsaluted, joyfully,
And cry,—What, ho! another enemy?”

And, in reference to another publishing his play with the condition that it must be changed,

“Impossible! My blood congeals to think
That other hand should change a comma's dot.”

The other expression of his character is when he speaks to the woman he loves, Roxane. She confides in him that she loves another, which is a blow to him. Furthermore, she asks him to protect the man that he loves, to take the fellow under his wing, so to speak.

This is one of the strongest parts of the play: because he accepts. The nature of his love is unselfish, to where he puts her happiness above his. And when Roxane comments on a recent battle Cyrano fought, he replies that he had “fought better since” - the battle within himself to uphold her happiness at the cost of his.

This theme is reiterated again and again throughout the play, until the bitter end. But I won't spoil anything for you. It's hard and beautiful and moving. The poetry is brilliant and vivid and passionate.

Read it yourself and find out, people. The beginning is slow, but it's worth it.

(Return in a couple days for part two of this post. The combination of these two posts was too long for me to post all at once, so I put all of my favorite quotes in the second one rather than have one massive post for you to deal with.)

Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Fifteen Greatest Stories of All Time

I think it was last week when I had the insane idea to find out what my favorite stories of all time were. On top of that, once I had the list written out, I had the doubly insane idea to actually choose between them.

Needless to say, it was torture, but at the end of it all, I came up with fifteen stories that I considered to be the best of the best, the cream off the top of the bucket.

There are two things I have to tell you before I actually start the list, however.

First, this is my opinion, and there are a lot of stories I've never read or watched. Don't be too outraged if your favorites aren't on there or if you don't particularly like the ones I picked.

Second, when I say “stories”, I mean stories of any medium. This list includes movies, TV shows, books, and plays, with any number of installments. There are a number of stories on the list in which I consider both the book or series along with their motion picture adaptions.

And so, without further ado...I present to you, the fifteen greatest stories of all time! (In reverse order. Y'know, to build things up.)

15. REDWALL by Brian Jacques

(Referring to the Redwall series as whole.)

The Redwall series has had a place on my shelf for a long time. At first it barely missed making the list, but because of some of the classics such as The Long Patrol, The Bellmaker, and Martin the Warrior I decided to include it.

The main reason I included this was because of the colorful cast that generally comes with a Redwall book and the often bittersweet endings. The Legend of Luke is particularly depressing in a heartbreaking way. And, of course, they're just good stories well told.


This is one that is included for nostalgia, if anything else. It's a good tale, to be sure, and one I've loved for a long, long time. Something about shipwrecked Americans just appeals to me—and the fact that the main characters build a civilization out of nothing is just fantastic.

Plus, it's got a little bit of a creepy feel to it, in addition to the return of Captain Nemo from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. It's a solid story.


Cry, the Beloved Country muscled its way up to 13 through sheer emotional punch. It's a story set in South Africa during apartheid, and there are few novels that have prose more poetic. It's articulate and vivid and wonderful. Bittersweet, emotional; and the themes of the novel are unmistakably Christian and just swimming in symbolism.

12. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO by Alexandre Dumas

(This placement refers to both the book and the movie adaption.)

The Count of the Monte Cristo is an epic of a book about a man, Edmond Dantes, who was in prison for years. Escaping from prison and stumbling upon untold riches, he set off on a quest to exact revenge on those who made him suffer. It's a fantastic story, and although it drags in the middle, the progression of Dantes' character is so well done.

I must say, though, I actually like the movie adaption better, and that's a good part of the reason that it's on my list. Both the book and the movie are amazing, however, especially in sheer scope.

11. THE WINGFEATHER SAGA by Andrew Peterson

The first “modern” Christian fiction choice of the list! I love this series so much, both for the whimsical and wry humor, and for the wonderful characters and themes. The reason that it's not higher up on my list is partially because the series isn't finished, and partially because there were just so many good choices.


Narnia hardly needs an explanation. It's magical and firmly entrenched in my childhood, and the sheer allegorical depth is just incredible. And the last paragraph of The Last Battle—oh, yes. This is definitely one of those stories that leave you with that divine depression. The really awful thing is that there aren't more Narnia books.

The movies are also included under this placement, although it was mostly the books that caused Narnia to make my list.

9. AND THEN THERE WERE NONE by Agatha Christie

If Cry, the Beloved Country made the list through sheer emotional punch, And Then There Were None made the list through sheer adrenaline. 

 This, in my opinion, is Agatha Christie's finest work. Although the characters do have some level of depth, the main reason this book made the list was the brilliance of the “impossible” ending. And also because the book freaks me out. I read most of it after was deliciously scary.

8. RUNT THE BRAVE by Daniel Schwabauer

Surprised? This may seem like an unlikely contender, especially this high up on the list, but I stand by my choice. Runt the Brave has a lot of good things going for it (not the title, perhaps), but I think the main reason it made it this high was the character-theme combination. You can read my review for more of a rant about how awesome this book is, but I think it'll suffice to say that the book is deeply moving.

7. THE TROPHY CHASE TRILOGY by George Bryan Polivka

Because these books don't get around much, there's not a single banner for these books, so a picture of my own copies will have to suffice.

This includes the trilogy and the prequel, Blaggard's Moon. There are two reasons I love this series: one, it has a more old-school writing style; two, it has one of the strongest and unashamedly Christian themes of any book I've read. Besides that, there's the character of Delaney (one of the most awesome characters there ever was) and the fact that the series is like a pirate-fantasy with some deep thoughts on pacifism.

One of the most awful things about this series is that very few people have heard of it.  It's out of print and not very well marketed.

6. THE WHITE LION CHRONICLES by Christopher Hopper

Okay, the first book drags for awhile and the prose is a little rough and sometimes the dialogue is stilted—so why is this number six on my list?

One word: theme. This has, perhaps, the strongest theme of any of the other Christian fiction books I've ever read. For that reason alone, this series is one of the epitomes, for me, of great Christian fiction. If I ever wrote a novel half as meaningful, I would consider my writing life fulfilled.

It's got an intriguing premise and some great characters besides. And when Hopper hits you with a plot twist, it really hits.


So why did I choose the Dark Knight Trilogy for Number Five?


In all seriousness, though, Batman is my favorite of the myriad of superheroes. The Trilogy is gritty and violent at times, but they go places where other superhero movies never go. Especially The Dark Knight. They plumb the depths of human nature and aren't afraid to push the limits of theme. In addition to that, the character of Bruce Wayne (Batman) is simply fantastic. He's constantly changing through the trilogy. (And, of course, there's the Joker. If I ever made one of these lists for villains, he'd be on it.)

And then, can I just say, the ending of the Dark Knight Rises is incredible? So, so good.

4. CYRANO DE BERGERAC by Edmond Rostand

Cyrano de Bergerac is the bittersweet story of a passionate poet-swordsman with a proverbially large nose. I have some posts coming up soon on the play, so I'll keep this brief and just say that this story deserves the number four placement.  It's incredible.

3. SHERLOCK HOLMES by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

(Refers to both the books and the BBC adaption.)

And here we come to one of the greats: Sherlock Holmes. Besides having some completely fantastic stories, he's also one of the most unique characters to ever grace the page—or screen. And his character is far from flat—from A Study in Scarlet to His Last Bow, he's constantly changing. But he's iconic, too, one of those immortal characters that far outlast the author. I think that's the power of Sherlock Holmes.

As for his screen adaptions, BBC Sherlock is by far my favorite and captures the characters and plots of the original stories more closely than any other adaptions I've seen—ironic, considering BBC Sherlock is meant to be a “modernized” version of the old stories.


This year Doctor Who is fifty years old. There's a reason it's survived so long. More so than the stories that came before it on this list, Doctor Who has some really fantastic storytelling.

Today I rewatched an episode called Asylum of the Daleks, and I think it demonstrates many of the reasons why Doctor Who made it to Number Two on my list of greatest stories of all time. Stellar plot, theme layered on thick (touching on love and hatred and divorce), and a fantastic, brilliant plot twist that slammed the incredible ending to a close.

And the most immortal part of Doctor Who is, of course, the Doctor. He has the brilliance of Sherlock Holmes, except in space, fighting aliens with a bow-tie and a screwdriver. There's a certain appeal to this “madman in a blue box” that runs about having adventures and saving the universe—a “legend woven throughout history”. His struggles, both physical and moral, resonate with us.

But despite all this, it is not number one.

Number One is...

1. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J. R. R. Tolkien

(Includes The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, and the movie adaptions.)

I mentioned quite a few extraordinary characters in this list. But I think the most extraordinary thing about The Lord of the Rings is how ordinary it is. Frodo Baggins is not a Sherlock Holmes or a Doctor or a Batman. His greatest power is his goodness, his ability to resist evil...his ordinariness.

I think that the Lord of the Rings, more than any other, has united the different facets of good story. It has the immortality of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who, in that it feels like a myth as old as the bones of the earth; it has the wonderful word-smithing of Cyrano de Bergerac and Cry, the Beloved Country; it has the scope of the Count of Monte Cristo; it has the themes of Runt the Brave and the magic of Narnia.

It's an epic struggle of good versus evil. And no other story really comes close to touching it.

So there you have it.  My opinion on the fifteen greatest stories of all time.

What stories would YOU consider to be the greatest?  Why?  Shoot me a comment.