I'm actually pretty good at foreshadowing.

(And apparently not so good at titles.)

Unfortunately, in this particular instance, being pretty good at foreshadowing is not a good thing.  I mean, it's a "good" thing, but not a good "thing".

The principle for foreshadowing is this: foreshadow something, and if it is bad, make it awful; if it is good, make it incredible.  The actual event that is being foreshadowed must be even more monumental than we thought.

I did a really good foreshadowing the ending of my novel (Tornado C).  In this case, however, I'm struggling actually writing something so epic as to measure up to the expectations that I built up in my readers for the last eighty thousand words.

I love the foreshadowing.

But not so much the actual fulfillment.  Or at least writing the actual fulfillment.

But as they say, all good writing is rewriting.  I'd better write it and set to making it epic afterward.

POST SCRIPTUM: (In case you haven't noticed, this means that I am again working on Tornado C and crawling by inches towards the ending.  All going well, I should have the novel finished by the twentieth.  All not going well, I'll be finishing this novel and another one the night of the thirty-first.  Oops.  Whose idea was it to do NaNoWriMo again this year?  Oh, yeah.  Mine.)

POST SCRIPTUM THE SECOND: (In case you didn't look at the time at which this post was posted, it's well after midnight.  I'll use that as my excuse, although to be honest, I think I really am this mentally twisted.)

POST SCRIPTUM THE THIRD: (Have an epic Owl City song.  You're welcome.)

Stories, Snickbuzzards, and Sanity: A Writerly Ramble

Greetings and hallucinations!

I haven't blogged in some time, so I figured I'd say SOMETHING on here. I'll subject you to a short update and then ramble for a bit. Do your best to finish the post: but if you can't, I don't blame you. ^_^

Firstly, my writing! Tornado C is coming along sloooowwwwlllyyyy. I'm still working on the outline. If I really stuck to it and got the outline done, I could be starting it this week, but other circumstances have temporarily supplanted it.

What circumstances? The further progression of my science fiction stories, which I just call "Will Vullerman" stories, after the protagonist. In addition to In Stasis and The Reality Ring, I've been working on a sci-fi/thriller/murder mystery sequel to the stories called The Thirteenth Call. Working synopsis is below:

--

They were a perfectly normal American family newly arrived in Europe. But for the last six nights, at seven o'clock sharp, they've gotten the same phone call with the same threatening message. Will Vullerman, asked by a friend to help this family, arrives on the scene. But he's not prepared for the sinister plot that's slowly tightening the noose around this family. He has to find out who's calling, and why, before it's too late...before the thirteenth call.

--

Plotwise, I'm really enjoying this story. Plenty of suspense and twists and turns, I can assure you. And my sisters have called it "scary" thus far, which is a new direction for me.

The Thirteenth Call has proved to be a fairly large task, however. The first two Will Vullerman stories were about 6.5k, and The Thirteenth Call is at 8.5k and is likely going to end up somewhere past ten thousand. For this reason, I'm splitting it into two parts. Part One is finished at 6.7k, and Part Two is progressing. I've been procrastinating a lot, though: I need to sit down and finish it!

And that's about it in the writing department. How's writing coming for you all? With school out, you ought to be writing more: and if you aren't, that's not good. If your writing habits have not increased with the onset of summer, I'll send Danton Brownbarr over to deal with you. ;)

What else? Well, Andrew Peterson is awesome, but he has been for some time now. Observe:

--

"What's a snickbuzzard?" Paddy asked.

"I don't know," Lennry said, "but they sound mean."

"Aye," Podo said. "They are. Terrible mean. Razor sharp beaks. Talons like daggers. And the worst part?"

"Yes, yes?" Lennry and Paddy said.

Podo sipped his bean brew and raised a bushy eyebrow. "Bellybutton."

—The Monster In The Hollows, Book Three of the Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson

--

*shudder*

On another note, I've been devouring Sherlock Holmes stories. I've read all three story collections and most of the novellas. They're awesome. I must admit, however, that I wished that Doyle really had ended the stories with Holmes's death. The way Memoirs ended was perfect, poetic, and utterly epic. Moriarty tops my top five villains list.

Chesterton quotes have been swirling around my head again. Sometimes history repeats itself: and in this case, when I reread Chesterton, I repeat quotes I've already said before. Here's some to chew on:

"I am the man who with utmost daring discovered what had been discovered before."

"The whole secret of mysticism is this: that man can understand everything by the help of what he does not understand."

"As we have taken the circle as the symbol of reason and madness, we may very well take the cross as the symbol at once of mystery and of health. Buddhism is centripetal, but Christianity is centrifugal: it breaks out. For the circle is perfect and infinite in its nature; but it is fixed for ever in its size; it can never be larger or smaller. But the cross, though it has at its heart a collision and a contradiction, can extend its for arms for ever without altering its shape. Because it has a paradox in its centre it can grow without changing. The circle returns upon itself and is bound."

"The man who is most likely to ruin the place he loves is exactly the man who loves it with a reason. The man who will improve the place is the man who loves it without a reason."

"We think the cat superior because we have (or most of us have) a particular philosophy to the effect that life is better than death. But if the mouse were a German pessimist mouse, he might not think that the cat had beaten him at all. He might think that he had beaten the cat by getting to the grave first. Or he might feel that he had actually inflicted a frightful punishment on the cat by keeping him alive."

"All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget."

—all from Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton

I love that last quote especially. :)

And also, we got a monkey. Yes, yes we did. You read that correctly:

We got a monkey.

His name is Bobby.

He's high maintenance.

BUT - all in all a fun pet.

He has orange eyes, brown-grey underfur with yellowy tips and a white nose. And his tail's longer than his body, which is a bit smaller than a full-grown cat. If he's on the ground, you can lean down and extend your arm, and he'll clamber up and make himself comfortable in the crook of your arm.

Bobby also enjoys relieving himself on your shirt, which is not so fun.

But you can't have everything. ^_^

How are you all doing? Any news worth telling me? Any good Christian speculative fiction books coming out soon? What do YOU think of monkeys?

Let me know. :)  

Concerning Short Stories (and Other Random Things)

Greetings, blog followers!  It's been a while, hasn't it?  Summer (at least in America) is just about here, and in west Africa the rainy season has started.  Which makes it hard to get things dry, but at least we get great weather!

Yes, rain is great weather, especially after you've been eating dust for three months.

Progress is coming along slowly with my current novel, Tornado C, but I expect to start writing it in the next week or two, provided that this outline doesn't eat me.  (Outlines are vicious carnivores, I'm telling you.  At least for SOP writers.)

Recently, however, my writing has moved in a new direction.  I wrote a 6.5k short story that I called "In Stasis".  Why is this new?  Well, it's the first work of sci-fi I've written in over two years.  Fantasy is normally my home genre, but I've found that writing sci-fi is a welcome break.  It's a great genre to be writing in!  Since short stories are a relatively short commitment, they are a rather addictive way to dabble in other genres.

The protagonist of In Stasis is an elite agent called Will Vullerman, who is contacted by the government to undertake a secret mission to the off-limits and war-ravaged continent of America.  Right now, I'm working on a sequel to that story, tentatively titled "The Eternity Code".  These may be the first of many Will Vullerman short stories.  I'm hoping to release each story on Kindle for 99 cents: as they say, the best marketing is having a backlist of other titles.  The stories will hopefully appeal to a broader audience and draw in random people who find my stories while browsing the Kindle Store.

And hey, they're not too expensive, either. ;)

And, on a note of randomness, our family received a package from America yesterday.  (It appears to have been soaked in colorful stickers.)  Many fantastic things were contained within this package, so many things that for a while I thought that it might be bigger on the inside.  But it wasn't, unfortunately.

Among this awesomeness was twenty-four packets of Cheez-Its, which I hadn't tasted in six months.  (I'm in cheese heaven.)

But also included was an unbelievable amount of music albums.  There were four Thousand Foot Krutch albums alone, including their brand-new album "The End Is Where We Begin".  I put some of the albums from that package on my Kindle, and my playlist is totaling to almost 200 songs now.  We're so blessed to have such awesome friends!

And now TFK has taken the number one slot on my favorite bands list.  Mwahahaha.

So how have you all been in my absence?  Writing, I hope?  What are you working on now?

Oh, and how many of you are TFK fans? ;)

I'll be back again tomorrow with a scheduled post.  Au revior!

Back—In Blue

I'm back, but not in black. I'm wearing a faded blue Kansas shirt. (Faded because my poor *snif* Kansas shirts are slowly deteriorating. That's your cue, Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOO!")

And guess what? It's another update. Not quite as exciting as something like "GET A FREE COPY OF THE WAR HORN!" (although that's coming soon, muahahaha!). However, I hope it proves to be informative, if not entertaining.

Right now, I'm still hard at work with The War Horn.

You see, I lost a day this past week, and I still can't figure it out. All of a sudden, it was Friday, and I didn't even know what had happened. I seriously thought it was Thursday. So that meant that schoolwork went in Blue Overdrive mode and also produced a vial of Stop Writer's Cramp because of some weird chemical reaction. Go figure.

See, that's much more interesting than "I was busy with school so I couldn't revise", wasn't it?

However, sources tell me that I said to my parents, "The War Horn will be finished on Sunday!" so we'll see what happens. If that's true, then the "GET A FREE COPY OF THE WAR HORN" post will be coming soon to a blog near you.

For a more serious update, here's a post-within-the-post in reply to some comments made on my previous post.

Firstly, I do eat one meal a day. And now I can't think of eating three meals a day. Meh. (And, while I'm on that thought, I find it funny that people say "How can you survive on one meal a day?", because it's perfectly normal here.) It's a wonder I didn't swell up and roll around like a soccer ball. Or football, as the locals call it. I think I'll forever eat this much in times to come. In all seriousness, though, our entire family is a lot healthier than we were two months ago because of our change in diet.

However, the conditions we live in are not as healthy. It's almost crazy, what's been happening. My sister, when we first arrived, had an extremely minor case of typhoid. But that was just the beginning, and it centers mostly on our pets. Every single one of our pets has had some sort of accident or sickness that could have proven fatal, or did.

So here it is: we got a dog, it died; we got a mongoose and it temporarily paralyzed itself and couldn't walk for a week; we got two more dogs, and they both died of roundworm; we got another dog, and it got bit by a dog that might have had rabies and is now quarantined; and we got a cat that jumped off a top bunk and had a seizure so bad that we thought it was going to die. It did, however, recover, and continues to attack us in the middle of the night. (There's a reason she's named Ninja.)

That is, in brief summary, some of the weird happenings.

But I digress: back to the questions.

Concerning life-or-death situations...well, I don't think so. We've had some situations that were tense and could have been dangerous (a drunk guy yelling at us, men smoking drugs nearby, a supposed plot to steal our welder), but I have yet to have a life-or-death encounter.

Belly-laugh? Nothing that stands out, although there are little family-related jokes here and there. :) There was that one time that some children were yelling "Chinese man!" at us, peppering it with "Ching change gong gong!". One white person is the same as another, I suppose. ;)

Similarly, I was driving one time with another white person once who had lived here for quite a while, and had married a Liberian. When we passed a group of white people, he leaned out the car window and shouted "White man! White man!" in Liberian English at them. They didn't even look up.

Something that normally wouldn't happen at home? Everything. Heh, it's such a large category. We go to an outdoor market for much of our food, we walk most everywhere we go (or catch a taxi), all of the children wave at us when we pass (oftentimes saying "White man!"); the list goes on. Anything more specific? XD

Oh, and we all (probably) had worms. :P That was fun. Dewormer is cheap here, thankfully. And I think my entire family is just waiting for me to come down with malaria. The mosquitoes like me too much.

As far as I know, there are no elephants. Liberian "bush" is basically a sub-Saharan jungle. There are, however, monkeys, mongooses, genets, various kinds of birds, lizards, and other fauna.

Cassava is one of my favorite Liberian foods. It's a leafy vegetable: cut up, and put with peppers and onions and garlic, and then mixed with the meat and cooked. It has a dark green look to it and is rather oily. (In fact, the first Liberian dish that I ever had was cassava with goat. It was in America, months before I came here, and I thought it rather weird.) I have not, however, heard of it being in cake. O_o

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! I've got a storehouse of information in my noggin. I haven't even scratched the surface of my life here. Which is why I have trouble writing coherent blog posts. ;)

As for me, folks, I think I'm going to go swimming soon. :D

Au revior!

The Reports of My Death Are Assuredly False

Well, it's been a sight longer than I expected, folks. I've so many stories to tell that it would take ages to recite them: so I'll settle for a few scattered tales to update my dear blog readers. Pre-written blog posts are great, eh?

First of all, I am alive.

Second, I'm in the midst of my final revision of the War Horn. Be prepared for a post about pre-readers soon!

Third, I'm doing One Year Adventure Novel again, with my sister. This time, it's a fantasy. I've got some epic ideas for it. Here's the preliminary synopsis:

"Elijah Finarod. Once, he was the pride of his people. Now he's imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit and haunted by the one he did. A bloody war is raging across his world, and Elijah is unexpectedly freed to seek a way to end an ancient curse, the only hope they have of stopping the war. But he's being pursued by unknown assassins and he's being hunted by his own people. Nevertheless, Elijah is determined to stop the war at any cost. For Elijah Finarod started the war, and now he was going to end it."

Fourth, I've never been so grateful for chicken and beef. For the first two weeks we were in this house, we ate fish and nothing but fish. (The fish was in the sauce over rice, of course...not fish plain. That would be a nightmare.) And did I mention that I abhor fish?

Fifth, I wrote out a genealogy of the House of Finwë from Tolkien's "The Silmarillion". Go figure. (Finwë fathered Fingolfin, who fathered Turgon, who had a daughter who was named Idril who married a mortal named Tuor, and they had a son called Eärendil and he married the half-mortal-quarter-elf-quarter-Maia Elwing and they had two sons, Elrond and Elros...) And yes, "Finarod" in the synopsis above is a nod to Tolkien's characters "Finarfin" and "Finrod".

And last, I miss all you crazy and wonderful writers. ^_^ You're all awesome.

That is all.

*ahem* Kidding! Considering the time I have with no internet to waste my time on (actually, between revisions and school being renewed once more, it's not that much), I ought to write something a bit longer, eh?

Here are a few notes that I've composed concerning life in Liberia. However, I'm not even sure what you all want to know...so shoot me a few questions in the comment section, and I'll write another blog post in response. Fair?

Concerning FOOD:

The fundamental elements of food are thus: rice, sauce, meat. The meat is in the sauce (or soup, sometimes), and it is poured over rice. That's Liberian food in essence. The sauce may include something like palm nuts, potato greens, cassava, etc. The meats include goat, beef, chicken, and fish. And maybe lamb, but I have yet to eat lamb here. And the food always has peppers in it.

My favorite is "pepper soup", followed closely by cassava. Pepper soup is, essentially, a soup with some sort of tomato sauce base, with a meat and lots of peppers in a broth; sometimes over twenty peppers in that soup alone. As I said on Facebook the other day, "IT BURNS US!" (To give you an idea of the heat of the little Liberian pepper, it is ranked the same on the "heat" scale as the habenaro pepper.)

Concerning ENVIRONMENT:

The place where we live, as I have described elsewhere, is a concrete building with tile floors, and you can only reach it by crossing a wooden monkey bridge across a freshwater lagoon. It's a moment's walk from the beach: you can look out the window and see the sea along the horizon. This means that we get a sea breeze during the day and night, which is phenomenal. The windows are always open to let in the breeze, and in the shade, it's not actually that hot. Sitting in the sun is another matter.

Right now, we're in the dry season. It hasn't really rained for weeks, and the weather is steadily, degree by degree, climbing upward. I have no idea what the temperature really is, however, save that it's somewhere over ninety every day; that was the temperature three weeks ago.

Concerning CHANGES IN LIFESTYLE:

This is a fairly big category. Below, I shall list the changes that have taken place in general life.

Firstly, we don't have running water. We have to go out and manually pump all the water we use. So that means I use a dipper, half a bucket of water, and some shampoo when I get grimy enough to take a shower. We have plans to dig a well, however, and use an electric pump to pump water to a mini water tower, which provides the pressure we need for running water.

Second, our meals have decreased. We now dine in what we think is a typical Liberian manner: one meal a day, commonly in the afternoon. If we get hungry later on in the evening, we eat a small plate of leftovers from dinner. In the mornings, we eat fruit, and, some days, popcorn.

We've also learned to conserve electricity and computer charge. Because we need our computers for school, we turn on the gas-run generator most nights, which gives us electricity to charge electronics and run certain things. We do, however, have some solar power. We recently received a fridge/freezer that runs on solar power, and half the lights in the house - one in each room - run on solar power.

Most Sundays, we've had house church instead of going to church. We dig out a few hymnbooks we brought with us from America and sing hymns, afterward praying and then studying some Scripture.

Concerning PETS:

Inevitably, we've gotten pets. You've probably already heard of our mongoose, Mae. Or Minkey, as my sister calls her. She's extremely accident-prone, so much so that she seems to be disabled. Three of her four legs don't support her very well, and we're not entirely sure why. However, she did hit her head some days earlier and it swelled up; afterwards going down again. We think this might be the issue, some sort of damage to the brain. Right now, though, she's still eating and drinking and going to the bathroom on our beds, so that's a good sign, and her legs still retain movement.

So far, we've had four dogs. The first one (whom we named "Jax mi Dog" after the "Jax mi Katt" character in Jill Williamson's epic trilogy) died after a week, contracting some sort of illness. We buried him beneath a palm tree. Several days later, we got another puppy, whom we called Pippin. He's a typical Liberian mutt. We made sure he got shots, and right now he's a troublemaker in good health.

We also got two German pointer mix puppies from an American family. Their mother is huge and scary, so we're hoping that these two puppies - "Stan" and "Valli" after two West African missionaries we knew in Kansas - will grow up likewise.

You see, dogs in Liberia are not only pets (and to Liberians, they aren't really pets at all), they're guards. They're as good or better than a security guard, especially the big dogs. I've witnessed it myself: the mother of our German pointer puppies scared the pants off of one of our Liberian friends.

And lastly, we got a grey kitten who enjoys exploring my bed and playing with my shirt while I'm trying to sleep. We mostly got her to make sure the mouse/rat population stays down. At least, that's why Mom and Dad got her.

Concerning LIFE:

Get up. Do school. Eat dinner. Revise/do OYAN. Go to bed.

That's life right now. Pretty interesting, eh?

So, how are you all doing? How's the writing? How's life in general?

And if you have any questions, ask away. I'd be happy to answer them...but don't expect to get an answer right away. I have over four hundred unread emails, and the only internet I get is from a USB internet stick that's slow as molasses. And I rarely use it, anyhow.

Farewell, write well, and stay out of the heat!

Er...cold...

Never mind.

Sand And Houses And Also Rather Important News

I felt unsatisfied with the capitalizations of this post....so I capitalized everything. ^_^

Now, down to business!  I'll keep this short.

Things have been busy in a slow kind of way.  That means I've been procrastinating up a storm, unfortunately.  However, we did sign a lease on a house - which means we're moving in tomorrow.  And as of right now, we don't have any plans for internet.

That doesn't mean I'll disappear entirely.  I'm still not sure how much I'll be on, though.  I might be gone for months.  Or I might be back in a week and say, "Hey! We got internet!  Hullo there again!"  So don't get your shirt in a knot.

However, it should mean a decrease in blogging.  I have one post I'll hopefully write before I "leave", so there.

The house we're getting is really nice, actually.  It's owned by a missionary, and we'll be leasing it from him; it has four rooms and it's really close to the beach. However, the reason that we're getting it for an affordable price (because houses of this sort, on the beach, are normally expensive) is because the only way to get to the house is to either walk to it along the beach or cross a long walking-bridge across a lagoon.  It's really picturesque, actually.

Things are also moving slowly in my revisions of The War Horn.  I cut another three hundred words of chapter one and haven't added a single word.  However...I think I'm getting close to actually rewriting the beginning.  We'll see. <_<

In short, I'm alive, I'm trying to write, and I have one more post coming up.  And I'm procrastinating.  Right now, all of the other posts I have planned - the continuation of "Ninja" and my sequel post about writers - are on hold.  Sorry about that.  Perhaps I can sit down and pre-write them when I don't have internet.

And while you're reading this, if you haven't already, check out my poll on the sidebar and the excerpt I have up on one of my pages—Prologue: Assassins.

So keep your eyes peeled.  I'll be back.

Hopefully.

How to Meet Me in Five Easy Steps

Step One: Buy The War Horn.
Step Two: Buy the One Year Adventure Novel (OYAN) curriculum, if you don't own it already.
Step Three: Do the OYAN curriculum.
Step Four: Sign up for the OYAN Summer Workshop.
Step Five: Go to the OYAN Summer Workshop.

The reason step one is there is because The War Horn is funding my quest to go to the Workshop. ^_^  If I can somehow get two thousand dollars...I'll be there!

So!  I've got news.

First and foremost, I received an email from Amazon shortly after I published my last post on The War Horn. In short, they gave me the go-ahead for The War Horn.  (In length, they said that *I* couldn't publish it on my parents' account, but my parents could publish it on my behalf.  Which is the same thing. XD)

So I've been working on The War Horn, and I'm hoping to have my parents and also pre-readers be reading it by mid-January or sooner, so we'll see.  Right now I'm doing some research to make my historically inaccurate novel more accurate.

I have, however, come up with a few plot kinks that need working out.  Because I had received numerous critiques of my opening scene (and I rather agreed with them) I cut it and I'm working on finding another one. But it's difficult, since the novel (after the scene I cut) opens with my character waking up.  Which is not a good place to start a novel.  It's positively boring.

See, the problem with my novel is, it gets steadily better in terms of plot/excitement/stakes as the novel goes on.  If my readers stop at the first chapter, they won't realize what they're missing.  So I need to do something to really catch their attention - BUT, I *need* to start at the beginning.  Which is normal life.  So I'm going to work on two things.

1) Questions.  I'm going to raise a few questions in the first chapter and work with my monologue so that, even though the questions aren't particularly intense, they'll want to keep reading.

2) Prose.  I'm hoping to establish an easily-readable writing style that draws the reader in.  Because there's certain books you read that just draw you in if only for the writing style, right?  Mark Twain's work, for instance, is epic because he writes in such a clear voice that it's a joy to read the most boring of things.

However, I think I've pretty much gotten my research covered, so I'll be moving on from that to working on the first chapter.

So, writers, how's your writing coming along?  Written anything you're particularly proud of lately?

And, on a completely different note:

^The official trailer for "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey", coming out in December 2012.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

2012 is far too long to wait!  I can't stand it! D:  It doesn't help that I'm rewatching Lord of the Rings, either.  This trailer is, in one word, EPIC.

What do you think of it?

Talk to you later, and remember to check out the rather important poll on my sidebar.  And thank you to those who have already voted!

Why You Should Be A Writer

You still there?

You know that post I wrote before? Well, it's hard to explain, but one way or another it found its way to my blog.

In The Silver Chair (one of C. S. Lewis' Narnia books), a person has a moment like that. He says that, when he's tied to the Silver Chair, he'll say all sorts of things that they (the protagonists) shouldn't believe.

Well, it's sort of like that. I'm tied in a metaphorical Silver Chair right now, and I must have tied the bonds rather tight. But I assure you, I'm in my right mind. And writing's not all that bad. It's actually pretty amazing.

You see, I was spouting those things off BEFORE I tied myself to the chair. And now I'm in my right mind.

So will you let me go now? Please?

Maybe?

I'll write a counter post, I promise. Just to let you know that I'm "sane" again.

So...uh, I'm still tied here. Hold on, wait! Where are you going? I'm tied to a—chair!

Hello?

Ninja: a Tale (Part I)

Today, I set down my Kindle and said, "I need to write a story about ninjas.  And it's going to be epic."

Thus began my quest for ninja epicness.  And a quest for grammatical correctness in the term "ninja".  (Also, thanks to Eldra and her brother Goose and especially Leauphaun, who edited and filmed the video, for their own thoughts about ninja and grammatical correctness in their epic video about ninja.)

In the style and spirit of A Battle Fought At Midday, I am pleased to present to you the first installment of:

A Tale

(Part I)

In Which I Am Out of this World and Meet a Ninja in a Fez

It was a dark night, but not a stormy one. Horns honked in the distance, people talked, and far-off I could hear the sound of street music.

I was sitting on my bed, as I often did. The time was nearing eight o'clock in the evening when the bedroom vanished.

And in its place stood a man in dark clothes, with black cloth wrapped 'round his face (leaving only his eyes visible) and a fez perched atop his head.

Of course, the first thing I asked was not 'Where am I?' but this: "Why are you wearing a fez?"

"Of all the things to ask," the man replied, his voice muffled through the black cloth. "It's the height of discourtesy to poof in front of someone, you know."

I looked about. I stood in the middle of a long brick road. To either side of the road were long stretches of flat land that was filled with a whole lot of nothing; that is to say, the most delightful form of nothing. Weeds and wild flowers and lizards and the odd toad.

A thought occurred to me. "Where am I?"

"Not where you're supposed to be, I gather," the man said. "If you had appeared in front of me on purpose, I might take offense and chop off a finger or two. Or throw a brick at you."

"Sorry," I said. "But really, where is this?"

I already gathered that I had been transported in some way; then again, it wasn't terribly alarming. It had happened before. I had once dueled Procrastination on a literal mountain made entirely of sand, after he had transported me there.

But that was a different story.

Speaking of Procrastination...I jammed my hand in my pocket and felt around for the Pen of Doom, in case I needed it.

Yup, it was there. Good thing, too. It's no fun being stuck in an alternate dimension without your favorite pen. You can't even do signatures.

"You must really be out of your way." The cloth shifted queerly about his forehead, and I concluded that he must be raising an eyebrow.

"Do you have problems with answering questions? I've asked two, and neither has had the slightest of an answer." I gave the man a second glance, observing his heavy clothing in the warm sun. "And who exactly are you?"

"I'll answer your questions backwards," the man said, "since you seem to be of a backward sort. Firstly, I am Third General Lieutenant Robby Baldersot of the Urban Conglomeration of Ninja Being Impressive and Ninjalike. Also known as UCONBIN. You're currently three-fourths of the way to the City of Sneaking and also one-fourth of the way to New Barcelona, depending on which way you're headed. And I'm wearing a fez because they're cool."

Interesting.

"Which way are you headed, then?" I asked. Perhaps he'd let me tag along. "New Barcelona or Sneaking? And who named the city Sneaking?"

"You're a fellow of many questions," Baldersot said. "I'm headed to Sneaking. It's the world capital of ninja. And they're meeting for the forty-third time to discuss whether or not the title of UCONBIN is grammatically correct or not."

"Why wouldn't it be?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Ninja," was all he said.

Heroic Teddy Bears, Unite!

I'm teddy bear at heart.

I saw this on Whisper's blog and couldn't help but repost it.  XD

In Which I Am Not Sure What to Say

Greetings and hallucinations, readers!  I'm back!

(In an all new adventure...)

Don't you just love it that I blog only when I've exhausted all the other things I need/want to do on the internet?

The thing is, I'm not sure what to blog about.  I keep "updating", and I really hate doing the same thing over and over.  It gets old.  And it probably gets old for you.

So what to do?  Let's mix it up.  To the side is a picture that I am very fond of - the Doctor, tipping his Stetson.

And now for updates: as of right now, I'm still planning on doing NaNoWriMo.  We haven't left for Africa yet, but it's looking likely that we'll be off before the month is up.  But we'll see what God has planned, aye?

The novel in question is the Prophecy of Einarr (the title of The Prophecies, Book #2).  So far, I've got a hazy direction for it, and possibly a prologue idea, which is likewise hazy.  Ah, the life of a SOP writer...

I plan to do a lot of brainstorming at the farm this week, however.  It'll be a quiet week, away from civilization (and internet :P), with only school and yardwork to contend with.  Hopefully I can spray some cleaner on this novel and make it shiny instead of hazy.

In the meantime, I'm hoping for snow before we leave for Africa.  It was actually below 30 two nights ago - I can always hope!  A lot of weatherly change can happen in a week.

This turned into an update, didn't it?  Sticklebacks...

So, those of you who are doing NaNoWriMo, what're you doing?  How's the brainstorming/outlining going?  Are you prepared for a month of literary abandon?

If the answer to the latter is no, then you're ready.  It's called "abandon" for a reason.

And, to get this post meaningful in some way or form, here's a little writing tip:

ACTION BEATS


Action beats are extremely useful in dialogue.  In fact, if you use them often enough, it becomes habit and saves you the trouble of editing your dialogue to make it interesting.

Here's a few lines without beats:

"How're you doing?" Joe asked.
"All right," Tom replied.  "You?"
"Well, I'm surviving," he said.

(As a side note, I'd recommend using basic words like "said" in dialogue.  Words like "expostulated" and "screeched" (etc.) distract the reader.  There are purposes for such words, however, if used sparingly in your novel; i.e. "'Forward!' he thundered")

Action beats are basically actions that are used to indicate who is talking in a conversation.  After all, that's why we use phrases like "he said", right?  And it provides a visual of what's happening during the conversation, making the dialogue much more interesting to read.

Here's what action beats are like, used in prose.

Joe plopped himself down beside Tom.  "How're you doing?
"All right." Tom shrugged.  "You?"
"Well..." Joe grimaced. "I'm surviving."

Not the best of writing quality, but it'll do.

So, have you written anything good lately?

With that, I have books to read and more to brainstorm.  Au revior, readers!

::POOF::

Various Newses

No, I have no idea why I added an extra "es" top, and no, I'm not related to Gollum, and no, I haven't been reading Lord of the Rings.

Questions done?  Good.  No?

No, we haven't left yet for Africa.  I'll post before we do, be sure about that, even if it's a 50-word post. :)  I'll keep you informed.

In the meantime, I still love Kansas and Cheez-Its and Doctor Who.  And writing. 

Kansas! 

I wish these were conveniently and accidentally dropped off at my house. ^_^

Stetsons are cool!

And speaking of writing, all I've been writing of late are geometry proofs (technically, I'm filling in the blanks) and essays.  Blech.  

Hold it, I tell a lie. O_o  I have written five hundred words or so in a modest little story I'm writing in my spare time.  It's a fantasy tale in a world called who-knows-what.  (No, that's not the name.  Call it that and I'll get out my Cheez-It cannon.)

In the meantime, I've been watching Doctor Who and doing a lot of schoolwork.  The series finale of Doctor Who is actually next week. (I am SO. EXCITED. GAH!)

Also, I wish to inform you that the Director at Castles, Quills, and Cameras is having a giveaway!  This most excellent blogger is giving away two books; one of which I can attest to being a great read. :)  Here's the link to the giveaway post.  

And...well, I've run out of things to blog about. O_o  Ask me questions, folks.  Maybe I'll have a Q & A post next time.  It'll at least give me something to blog about. ;)  

See ya later, friends!  Write well, and may your ink stay full!

I'll leave you with one last quote:  "He who laughs last thinks the slowest."

Guess Who?

I'm back!

(Warning: I WILL ramble.  I'll be a little random.  I'll be incomprehensible at some points.  Hang on.)

And no "Guess Who?" is not Doctor Who. ;)  He's going to be back in...two days.

I had to slide a Who reference in there.  Sorry.  It's an urge that I cannot resist; but don't worry, no more Doctor Who...for the moment.

I'm back, and it's been far too long, blog friends.  I've had no one off which to bounce my latest literary jokes; no one to bother with my writing musings; no one to write to while blasting soundtrack in my ears.  And it's no wonder my mom says I'm deaf...

Anyway, so, what's been happening for all of you bored blog readers?  Doing well, I hope?  Read any good books?

And I find it interesting that my blog followers increased while I was gone.  Do I take that as an insult or a compliment?  Maybe my silence is indeed more interesting than my gab. ;)

But when I saw all of those comments (including Dad's, who has been nagging—reminding—off-screen a well as on-screen), I thought to myself, "....Tomorrow."

Tomorrow turned to the day after, and the day after, and I read a great book (review coming); unfortunately, my blog stayed still.

So here I am, back at last, and I'm not wearing black, either.  (Okay, time to revise THAT one...ouch.  That was terrible.)

Now, as for my life...it's been busy.  Very busy.  A LOT has happened since I last blog.  Not the least of it is that I was kidnapped by my novel—yes, the rumors were true!  It held me up at plotpoint and...wait, have I used that before?  I can never keep track of which jokes and play-on-words I used where...

*ahem*

Also, I'd like to bring to your attention a blogger whom I have followed for some time: Gillian Adams.  I've been haunting her blog for over a year now, and her writing is fantastic, and she has a passion for Christ and His word.  She, having submitted her novel, recently received word that a publisher had accepted her novel/novella for publication!  Young aspiring Christian writers are making a mark out there, readers, so don't lose hope and keep on writing!  Click on the above link to hear more about this fantastic news. :)

Speaking of writing....The War Horn is now fully revised and rewritten in spots; it's certainly my best novel so far, in general writing quality.  On the fifteenth of August, 2011, I submitted it to my first real-deal-with-real-prizes contest, open to those who have used the OYAN curriculum.

A little background on what's happening with the War Horn:

I view the War Horn as an experiment.  It's my first (and I think last; it was agonizing to write) historical novel, though it almost falls under the legend-history category of novels. This is also my first completed novel where I have no explicit Christian messages; few characters mention God (excepting monks and a few scattered phrases), and there was no "redemption" theme to try and share the Christian message in a different manner.  Instead, I embedded the truths and themes of Christ into the characters and the plot: freedom and the self-destroying aspect of bitterness are two recurring themes among many smaller ones.

It'll be fantastic to see how God can use it in ways my other novels cannot be used.  And I really hope it does well in the contest. ;)

So, I'll have more posts to come, but that's about it for now.  I have a few rattling around my head, waiting to be written, and a review is on the way too; so stay tuned, and bother me lots about it!

And watch out for marshmallows; they're rather vicious.

Where in the Name of Cheez-Its has Jake Gone?

Greetings and Hallucinations, Elves, Dwarves, Readers, and other strange characters!

It's been a while since I've been here.  Things have been hectic here in Kansas.  Between schoolwork and lots of other activities, I've barely had any time to write.  (And I assure you, for once, it's not Procrastination's fault.  This time it's Mathe.)

But a few new things are coming my way in the direction of writing.  If all goes well, most of my school will be finished on Friday.  But I have to do triple schoolwork everyday to do that. (OO)

Right now, I'm working on my One Year Adventure Novel.  It must be done before the middle of June (my goal), due to the fact that I am hopefully going to the OYAN Workshop at the end of June.  The famed EaglesWings will also be there.  Right now, I'm at 2,675 words, with a goal of at least 25K.  It's my first 'historical novel', but it's really very similar to my fantasy novels, taking place in 1100s England.  Some legends are being used, and I'm excited about it. :)

For those of you waiting with bated breath for the next segment of A Battle Fought at Midday, breathe.  It's coming sometime soon.  If not this week, then next weekend.

Some non-writing stuff has been happening as well.  Though the world didn't end yesterday, it got awfully close.  We were under a tornado warning for a while last night, and a bad thunderstorm.  No tornadoes touched down, but sirens were going off.

Also, my mom is having me read the Kansas Driving Handbook.  Beware, Kansas drivers, beware....

That's all I have time to write. :)  More posts coming within the week! (I think.  If I don't post, Mathe has eaten me.)

Ineffective Writer's Syndrome

This week, literologists in Kansas City, Kansas, made a breakthrough in a devastating virus strain known to them only as IWS: Ineffective Writer's Syndrome.  They believe they might have found the internal causes.  Uniquely, the IWS manifests itself in different symptoms, and each symptom must be treated differently.

I found this list of symptoms and cures on the IWS site and thought it may help for those of you who may have a temporary case of the IWS.  Please see your literary doctor before making a decision to use IWS cures or any decisions regarding IWS.  IWS is a serious disease that may end up crippling you for life, so act now to stop it, before it is too late.


Some Common Symptoms:
-Procrastination
-Bad quality writing
-Stubborn characters
-Stubborn plot
-Lack of time
-Frustration issues
-Lack of writing
-Lack of originality

Some Suggested Cures:
(These recommendations have been tested by the IWS Committee of Writers.  While they are reasonably accurate, we cannot guarantee full recovery or effectiveness.)
-More sleep
-Read more
-Write more often
-Brainstorming
-Cutting
-Rewriting
-Make time to write each day

IWSCW Cures may produce side effects, such as sleepless nights, unproductive schooldays, lack of desire for social activity, literary madness, abandon, and dreaminess.  IWSCW Cures contain such ingredients such as Imagination, so it is not for those with VGAS (Video Game Addiction Syndrome) or similar illnesses.  or IWSCW is not liable for such side effects and cannot be held responsible.

(Note: Normal post coming soon. ;)  Hang in there!)

The Book of Shaldu...Part One??

(I apologize in advance to any who are offended by graphic content such as extreme randomness and the use of the word Flow'st etc.  I am not liable for any mental injuries originating or beginning from this blog or blog post.  Don't judge me by the brand of my cheese crackers.)

There comes a time, when one has to choose--do I give in and eat the Cheez-Its?  Or do I abstain?

...Pardon, O Readers.  That was completely uncalled for and spontaneously random.  I went back to my roots...

Anyway, let's get down to business.

Recently I have been pondering much as to the outcome of this novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo: the Book of Shaldu.  Revision has teamed up with Procrastination, and alas--they are winning!  I have not written or revised in over a week--perhaps approaching two weeks.

But I have been wondering...what if the Book of Shaldu isn't really finished yet?  What if this 50k chunk of words I have is not yet done...what if it is Part One?

Yeah.  I rhymed there.  Not on purpose, mind you--I like to think of myself as a poetic writer. >_>

Now, there are several reasons I came to this conclusion.  What's that?  The conclusion that my story might not be done, of course.  Weren't you listening?  Stay on track--I do.  Flow'st and other such delightful personifications. :)

Heh, aye.  There's a list coming up, folks.  Brace yourselves!

1) The Word Count

When I finished the Book of Shaldu, it was hanging around a proud count of around 50,000 words.  In print length, that tallies up to around 200 pages.

Now, when I take a look at some publishers (not all, mind you), they require higher word counts than the one I have.  Marcher Lord Press is asking 65K or higher.  Flaming Pen Press refuses anything below 60,000 words.  The process of revision will heighten the word count, yes, but I doubt it will increase it more than 5,000 words.  Of course, I could surprise myself--but the Book of Shaldu will never be a 'long' book.  And I rather want to publish a 'long' book.  Short books always seem so...short.  Disappointingly short.

So if I wish to make some of the requirements in word counts for some publishers, I must make the Book of Shaldu longer.

2) The Ending

I ended the Book of Shaldu on a very, very unsatisfying note.  For the reader. ;)  It was the extreme mother of all cliffhangers.  So, to please the reader, I might have to extend the ending.

But that's not the only thing about the ending.  Overall, the ending didn't seem like an ending.  It left you at the lowest of lows with a nod to despair.  There was not any resolution to the ending.

The ending was also very...dark.  I reminded the readers of the Light that still shone in a dark place, but at the end I made all of the reader's worst fears come true...and then pulled the curtain on them.  THE END!  *Bwahaha* They would probably think that I was sitting on my computer chuckling in evil delight at the thought of their torture...Oh wait...uh...forget I said anything.

So the ending was dark--and it was unsatisfying, without resolution.  I've read reviews of certain books before where the author did that very thing.  The readers all complained about it.  And gave it bad ratings...

3) The Tale

Overall, the tale was short.  Unsatisfyingly so.  The tale didn't seem like a tale.  It was a story--but for all of the epicness I tried to integrate into the novel, it had not the size for it.  It didn't have the expansion I wanted.  And some of the characters didn't get enough screen time to fully develop them.  The remedy?  A longer novel.  More plot.  More screen time, more expansion--more delving into the ancient history of Arowdae I hope to unveil.

4) The Problem

But there is cons to this plan.  The problem is this: am I making this up just so I can get writing again?  I love the actual writing process.  I do everything in my power to get back to the writing process, the writing of a tale.  I'm addicted to it.  So...would I persuade myself to make the Book of Shaldu longer just so I can put off revision for a while longer?  *cough* You know what that is called?  Procrastination.

So what say you, readers?  I'm asking you.  What do all of you experienced writers out there think?  To expand or not to expand?  To write or not to write?  To revise or not to revise?

The floor is yours.  Don't get eaten.

Upcoming stuffs:
-Reviews.  Lots of 'em.
-Do I hear an echo?  Hmmm...could it be saying give a day?  No, wait, that's not what it says...stay away?  No...Can you guess?
-A Post. ;)

News, Reminders, and Resurrections

My giveaway ends the day after tomorrow!  If you haven't joined, go ahead and click here.

As for other news; Squeaks' Green Giveaway ends at 10:00 tomorrow: 10/10/10.  XD   There's several ties, so be sure to check out the entries--they are all awesome.

And the main point of this?  The illustrious blog, Worthy Fantasy, is BACK, and resurrected!  They posted just yesterday--it's a great blog with a lot of awesome articles about fantasy, so feel free to click on the link above.  Oh, and I forgot to mention--I am now among their number, along with a couple other awesome bloggers.

Besides all of this news, I posted a poem on my other blog that got an great response--because of its randomness.  Be prepared for rhyming randomness--I'm serious.  Here's the first couple of lines.



The Flow'st Upon a Midnight


I said to him, and he to me,
That I had gone and ate a tree,
The flow'st upon a midnight three,
And caused the cat to flee.


If you want to read some more of it, you can go here.  Tell me what you think! :)

Get Ready for the Whizz-Bang!

Since I'm posting, it means that I am BACK! With a terrible sunburn that.... itches. It just hurt for the last couple of days...but now... it iches terribly...and the problem is...I can't itch it... or it'll hurt my sunburn....

So, to explain the title, sometime in the next couple of days you'll wake up and see that I have posted something with the title 'The Giveaway--The Tolkienish Something'. And you'll find out that elusive prize that no one could guess....

On a completely 'random' note, I wrote a post on Why Everything is Random...Or Not on my other blog. Beware, however--it is 1) very random and 2) it is very confusing. Only go there if you love randomness and are prepared for a Random bombardment. :)

Assorted News

Sorry for the fitful blogging, everyone. This will be a short post, mostly just because I have half a dozen short things to say.

Sorry, readers, but I've decided to postpone the Top Ten list until further notice. I have been VERY busy (how are you not surprised?) writing, editing, etc. In fact, I entered a short story I recently wrote (no, not the Dark King) at a C. S. Lewis contest at the Pen and the Parchment. You can go over there and vote for your favorite story soon.

On a completely different note, I have good news; I have only 404 Wases to eliminate from my first novel. Ah, make that 402. Wish me luck on my Was manhunt! :)

Besides this, Wayne Thomas Batson's (author of the Door Withing Trilogy) and Christopher Hopper's (author of Rise of the Dibor) Tribe-Building Contest has begun! Click here to get more details.

I'm making a little bubble at the top of the page (in fact, you should be able to see it already) with the current word count of my third novel (the one I'm currently working on). I'm hoping to finish it this summer and start outlining another book soon.

And my first random post is over. And I like dark chocolate. :D