Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Tip for April 6, 2010; Description and Emotion

Sometimes, description heightens emotion in a reader.

Imagine, in this sample paragraph, that this is at the end of a novel;

As Jack glanced behind him, he saw the area had been badly burned. After a moment more, he and his companions strode on across the plain.

A terrible paragraph. It might be grammatically correct, but definitely not good for the ending of a book. As I said before, good description will add emotion. Here's a modified version of the paragraph;

As Jack glanced behind him, he saw the wide, blackened expanse where the forest had been. It had been completely incinerated. Finally, the black evil that had resided in this valley for centuries had been vanquished, not by a strike of lightning from the heavens, or by an army led by a king, but by a thirteen year old boy.

As all of this ran through Jack's mind, he marveled at the power and wisdom of the Maker. Truly, He used the weak to bring down the strong.

Better, yes? As you can see, the addition of description made the paragraph better and most likely would cause more emotion in a reader.

No comments: