Monday, May 10, 2010

The Dark King, Part 3

Again, if you spot any mistakes or have any feedback on the Dark King, please comment. And make sure and tell me if you like the story.

Here it goes;

The Dark King
Part Three

By Jake

They arrived an hour later. The source of the smoke was a sleepy-looking village that had perhaps ten houses.

Jarz emerged from the brush first, scratched and wild-looking from thorns.

He saw the village, and his initial feeling was relief. They had gotten back to civilazation. But his second feeling was apprehension. The people were definitely not the native people of his own country, and they were looking slightly hostile.

Szifa emerged beside him, and together they started cautiously into the town.

They walked up to a man that was leaning on his door and watching them suspiciously. “I elect you to speak.” Szifa whispered nervously to Jarz.

Jarz nodded his head slightly in agreement. “Who is your leader?” Jarz asked, the man hoping that they spoke the same language.

The man replied, “Name is Kadif, and we don't hav' a leader. We vote ta make decisions. But if you're lookin' fer a representative type, then ye better go see S. Haas.”

“S. Haas?” Jarz inquired politely as possible.

Kadif waved his hand vaguely. “We don't use his first name much. So we just call him Haas, or S. Haas if we be bein' 'specially formal.”

Jarz tried again. “I mean, where does he live?”

Kadif waved again. “The painted house on th' other side o' town. Can't miss it.”

Jarz thanked him, and he and Szifa made their way the other side of the village, the inhabitants still eyeing them suspiciously.

As Kadif had said, the house was hard to miss. It was painted bright red, and it had a porch in front that was also painted crimson. A young man sat on a stool on the porch, carving wood. A pile of curved shavings lay at his feet.

“Excuse me.” Jarz said, not sure how to begin.The young man looked up. He had bright blue eyes, and sandy colored hair that grew in a wild cascade curling around his head.

“What can I do for you?” he asked, smiling. He stood up and brushed the wood shavings off his shirt. Jarz immediately felt at home with this amiable man. He also noticed that the he spoke differently than the more rustic man they had met earlier.

“Uh, well, I'm not quite sure.” Jarz fumbled for words to say.

The young man smiled again. “Well, then, I guess it's my turn. I'm Shad Haas.” Haas extended a hand, and Jarz shook it, and introduced himself and Szifa.

“You're not from around here, are you?” Haas said, interest glinting in his eyes.

“No.” Jarz answered. He hesitated, and then told Haas their story, a little apprehensive that the man would question their sanity. When Jarz was done, there was a short silence. Haas broke it by saying, “Well, come on inside. I have a feeling we'll have plenty to talk about.”

Jarz and Szifa followed Haas inside, and found it to be a very spacious and well-kept house.

“If you don't mind me asking," Jarz said, "why do you have such a large house?”

Haas pulled a chair for himself and motioned to a couch. “You can sit down if you want. Now, about the house. Actually, I grew up here with my parents, so that answers your question.”

Szifa ventured to speak. “Have they, uh, passed away?”

Haas laughed, a clear, ringing sound. “No, they moved to a different town. They aren't as young as they used to be.” Haas paused. “Anyway, about your story. Let's see. How far away was the cave you woke up in?”

Jarz had no idea why Haas would ask such a question, but he answered anyway. “About three hours,” he pointed, “that way.”

Haas grinned, a thing he seemed to do a lot. “I know that cave, and that's one reason I believe your story.”

“Really?” Jarz asked.

Haas nodded. “I had an adventure of my own with that cave.” He fell silent for a moment, as if he was remembering something. A look of longing flitted across his face so fast that Jarz barely saw it. But as fast as it came, it was gone again, and Haas smiled. “Anyway, I know how you got here.”

“You do?” Szifa and Jarz asked in unision, incrudulous.

“Yes. But I won't tell you now.”

Jarz somehow knew it was futile to argue, so he asked, “Do you know how to get us back to our own country?”

Haas nodded. “I will try. But not until tomorrow. So,” he said, getting up, “you will stay at my house until tomorrow. We don't want to get caught outside in the dark.”


Haas shook his head slowly. “There has been a rumor.” he said, “Whether or not it is true is the question.” Jarz considered the statement rather cryptic.

They had supper with Haas, and each afterward were showed to a room, and bid good night. Jarz went to sleep almost immediately, tired from the day's momentous events.


Squeaks said...

*dun dun dun dun*.....


Eldra said...

Hmm. I get the feeling that Haas has been to wherever Jarz and Szifa are from. . . But I could be wrong :)

~God Bless~

Jake said...

Haha, you'll have to wait and see, hm? :D

Eldra said...

Ow! That's cruel!

Jake said...

Haha. :D

Gwendolyn said...

The mystery and suspense are excellent. ^^ Really.

One eensy bit of criticism - I keep getting the impression that 'telling' is trumping 'showing' in the scene. The intrigue would be heightened by far if that were to be improved upon. Just something to keep in mind when editing. =)

Jake said...

Thanks, Gwendolyn!

When I get around to editing, I might even put the story up on the blog (once it's edited).